Time at 문산

I went to 문산 to celebrate 할아버지's birthday. I spent my week with them, alone for the first time. 

I learned a few things about my grandparents, parents of 엄마.

 

While grocery shopping, an employee surprises 할머니 from behind and tells her she's been worried about 할머니. She thought that 할머니 moved away or got really sick. She ran off and got her phone to add 할머니's number and told 할머니 that if sickness or some hardship makes it too difficult for grocery shopping, that she would buy and deliver it.

A student of 할아버지high school class calls to wish 할아버지a happy birthday and gives updates about his life. 할머니 tells me that even the student is over 70 years old. There's decades of received and reciprocated kindness and compassion underneath that telephone call.

The phone rings faithfully throughout the day. Church members, neighbors, relatives, past students, their dance teacher, friends they met 50 years ago and friends they met last week. 할머니 attracts love as she never fails to put her hand out first. I see where 엄마 got her magnetic personality. 

I noticed 할아버지's solemn demeanor, which I have only had glimpses of during my short phone calls or visits to 문산. By no means is he irritable or depressed or not loving. Just quiet. He speaks upon the subjects which he believes holds gravitas. 

How he and 할머니 cope with their daughter being gone. Whether 아빠 is happy at his job, at home. His belief on cutting food into smaller pieces vs 할머니's preference for the uncut. 

Relatively quiet during a dinner, I asked him if he's participated in the North Korea- South Korea meetup. He decided not to do the visit to North Korea. Explaining that he talked with people who opted into meeting their long separated relatives, but left much sadder and hurt. Having no contact, no communication, no hope for a speedy unification, 할아버지settles for leaving the memories as they are. 

할아버지in 1948 escaped to the South at 17 years old. Teacher from Kim Il Sung College wrote him a letter that he is meeting someone as an alibi. He was questioned by guards throughout his journey, but made it safe because of that note.
Older brother  escaped 1946, father 1949, and sisters and mother never made it out.

To listen to Grandparents talking history Click here

Grandparents are the oldest of the folk dancing group and are the only couple. They dance once a week. Members of the 14 people there were worried about their health as they haven't been showing up recently. Grandparents have been downplaying their sickness to the family, but everyone I meet through 할아버지and 할머니  express concerns, as do I. 

나은 came to visit on her day off work. Grandparents were too sick to come to her graduation so she came to them. 

Dishes were crafted expertly and adorned with flowers. 

나은 bought the beautiful lunch using the money earned from her first paycheck

Admiring the finished achievement of their grandchild

할머니 was glowing with happiness after looking at the diploma. She took to telling the only person in the cafe about 나은 and my academic history. 

Both cooking together

 

We spent a day with our priest from Florida. Years since I have seen him, the hours with him were warm and comforting. I had never had personal time with priest until we have both from thousands of miles away from where I first met him. He made grandparents laugh nonstop with quick humor, he spoke of his missionary trip to China modestly, and he listened with much care. 

Grandparents were given a personal tour around the Salesian Complex. 할머니 enthusiastically whisked around each corner to see what was in the next room.

I hope I get to see them  for a few more days before I leave. I know I don't have much time with them.